Traction
by HowAboutThisForAName
Summary: Rythian confronts Teep over Zoey's riding of him, and the dinosaur has few words to say, obviously, but attempts to explain none-the-less.


Teep sat atop his sniper tower dully; the rifle gifted to him by Rythian a new toy he enjoyed far too much.

He would spy creatures of the day and night, depending on the time, firing long and wide with skill that seemed to come naturally, even if the foreign weapon had been placed in his grasp only so long ago. The dinosaur hoodie had seen many patches as well, months past having fetched him his fair score of scars, and with it some new gear.

A handkerchief now rode his neck, protecting the gash that had silenced him and to accompany the monocle he now both inside the T-Rex shaped hoodie and upon it, the former giving him an internal scope and the other acting as a torch*.

Also, as the sand called for it, gloves and kneepads were tightened in their respective areas, the idea that landing on sand wasn't as soft as most thought, Teep knew this even before joining Blackrock.

"Teep?" He heard Rythian state and turned idly to watch the man tower over him, obviously having used his cloak to teleport, something to suffice for the loss of his ender ring. From his sitting position, Teep allowed the tall man a view into his hood, and a pair of bright purple eyes met sky blue, and it almost made Teep laugh –had he the ability- that he now had the former.

Rythian lent against the pole atop the dino head tower, and crossed his arms with a matter of fact look on his face.

"Could I ask you a question?" He inquired, and the sniper nodded vaguely, "Is it true… You let Zoey ride you?"

Teep's face flushed red, and he averted his gaze, attempting words but only allowing a scathing rasp to escape. A moment later he attempted to explain by placing his rifle down and moving both arms back, as if carrying someone atop his shoulders or back.

"So only piggy backs?" Rythian pressed, not convinced, "You and her were for a long time completely separated from me, what's to say you didn't convince her of something?"

Teep scowled, blood was bitter from the mushroom rebels.

He nodded, more deliberately, slowly.

Rythian sighed, before pinching the bridge of his nose –the rest was actually covered-. Before he cleared his throat and looked inwards towards the camp. Following his gaze, Teep saw the subject of their discussion working on that arm of hers, atop the appropriately dubbed 'machine roof' with a welder's mask and blowtorch.

She was attractive, the fact she wore fishnet around her stomach and pants that clutched didn't exactly hide that fact, and in Teep's eyes –as he was familiar with such things- the arm only made her more interesting, exotic in a sense.

Rythian eyed him, his gaze boring into the sniper.

It occurred to Teep that he was actually quite intimidated and even a little afraid of Teep, he'd watched the way Rythian beat Lalna after Blackrock had blown, and the scientist had left with a broken arm and three missing teeth, only then making the truce.

Rythian was an Enderborn mage, highly affluent in the arts of magic and sorcery and had the temper of his more feral brethren, and while he was somewhat tame as of recently, it was factual that he was likely to blow up into rage and angst at any given time.

Teep was a crack shot, and intimidating to a stop. But Rythian could easily brush off any number of bullets and arrows that the dino-man flung at him. In fact Teep was convinced that if Rythian had suspected him of actually sleeping with 'his' apprentice, then he would have strangled him single-handedly then and there.

"Did you enjoy it?"

Teep gulped.

He couldn't lie to the man, the fact being that he wasn't very good at it; his eyes conveyed a lot of emotion. They sort of had to when you were mute. While this meant he could hold a conversation despite his inability to return any vocal approval, it did also mean that any amount of deceit floated to the surface rather easily, and he wasn't too keen on looking away.

Nodding, trying not to blink lest the mage do something brash, Teep nodded.

Rythian's eyes narrowed, his eyebrows knitted together, his clutched each arm ever so slightly more and the man's sniper watched as his master's lips turned down ever so slightly through the mask, this one tighter fitting then the last.

"So let me get this straight," Rythian eventually stated, "She places a saddle-"

He was quickly interrupted by Teep shaking his head, and reiterated.

"Bare back?" He asked, and the dino-man nodded, though he realised this probably only shortened his life span.

Clearing his throat, Rythian tried again; "She jumps on your back –I do hope you wear a shirt- and-" the man was cut off again when Teep looked away abruptly, a dusting of pink covering his cheeks.

Rythian had obviously intended the comment a joke, but upon this he cleared his throat again, and cracked his neck with a sharp snap to the side, "Does she like it better that way?" he snarled, and Teep shrugged.

"More comfortable? Better traction? Or maybe you suggested it…" The brunette hissed.

He didn't admit to it of course, but Teep knew in the back of his mind he had, but Rythian passed over the subject rather casually.

"You're bareback, and Zoey rides you, god's forbid she wears her skirt." He groaned, and it was Teep's turn to clear his throat, "Of for the love of all that is merciful," the man moaned, "It's because she likes the air on her thighs isn't it?"

Teep made the same motion as before –throwing his arms back towards his shoulder blades-, but as Rythian didn't seem to understand him, he attempted to make a word through his gnawed throat. "Traaac…Shuuun."

Traction.

His opponent didn't move much, but instead looked skywards with a heavy, disgruntled sigh.

"Don't."

…

Later, when Rythian had decided they should have a swim despite not liking water, he carried Zoey wherever she wished, never letting her down and glancing towards Teep –who splashed about them- with a warning glare from time to time.

This was obviously to train the idea out of her head that it was her only option to ride Teep, and the man obviously seemed to enjoy the feel of the girl on his shoulders (As he could carry her there with his superior strength). The swimsuit also clutched –as it was the only thing it could do, lest it be declared ineffective- and it was definitely a bonus shade for his eyes when the mounds of her chest cast shadows on them, and Teep did admit he was envious.

But luckily for Teep, he knew the girl preferred him. The first factor being that Rythian refused to remove that stupid mask of his, and this caused Zoey to slip off on more than one occasion due to the nylon-like surface. The second fact was that Rythian was too square shouldered, and had sharper shoulder blades, which must have dug into Zoey when she was climbing aboard and sitting there, whereas Teep was much softer –as he worked out less, not so much he was unhealthy, but so his skin wasn't as taut- and carried around less mass, making him more manoeuvrable in the water and on land.

Finally came the fact that Teep… Well… He bribed her with ice cream and cookies –although she chose him almost subconsciously- and this caused her to later, once she had dried off, ask Teep to carry her back to base aboard his back, and he smirked a devilish grin towards the angered Rythian, who stormed away mumbling and grumbling.

And best of all, he hadn't even told Rythian about the midnight running while Zoey wore naught but a silk nighty.

…

**Just a thought I had upon watching the episode where Zoey tells Rythian that she rides Teep occasionally, I wanted to expand upon that, and I suppose I took it to a rather naughty extreme. Heh heh, who says all of the Yogscast's fans are six year olds? Some are teenage pervs too! BWAHAHAHA!**

**R&R please, I loved writing this, and I'll probably write some more.**

**Isaac aka Actus Reus. **

**P.S. The latter being my username on .**


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